Interests:animes(ANY), FINAL FANTASY!!!!, music(ANY), instruments(violin,piano,flute,harp), weird things( besides porn :P), individuals, etc... Expertise:i can do almost anything if i put my mind to it, if i can feel it. I can show the right way if i followed my feelings and my heart, i dunno who i am, and i lost my memory once in a while, ... Occupation:Artist Industry:Art
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Happy new year everyone. I finally started writing again. After a year or something of not writing. My English is broken. I’ve gained weight. My hair is falling, probably from too much nonsense thinking. I got dismissed out of Uitm . crushed a lot. of ppl that cared and had high hopes for me, whocan blame them, it was my downfall, butit seemed as if everyone else felt it except me. I was so calm when I saw the words “diberhentikan” at the gradesheet. But that didn’t hit me much until I made a phonecall , hoping I could get back in again. The guy on the phone said that I had to register into a new intake in order for me to get back into uitmagain.when I hung up the phone, I cried in relief and in disappointment. My first big failure, and I didn’t know what to do. So I stayed on the internet, thinking I should look for other places and stuff.my dad saw segi in the newspapers. So we tried calling it, and this guy picked up the phone.it was a Saturday, so it was kinda weird for me, cause usually when calling schools,universities, etc on a weekend , they don’t pick it up. I told him I want the automotive course, and the next day, I was in. at first , I decided to give everyone the silent treatment, or so I thought I voild. But somehow I realize that ppl like queit weird ppl somehow, because that’s how I was. The only one that treated me differently was my commando. Oh yeah, special treatment alright. Felt like bootcamp when im with him. But , he cheered me up somehow. A class filled with Malaysians disappointed me so so sooooo much. I was the only one that was thinking outside the box, I was really more optimistic and open minded than the others,. I hated borrowers.i hate liars. I hate it when people are only friends just for a purpose. I’m a cheapskate, that doest mean I’m not a giver. Never received anything, never got anything. That box of mine was always empty. I never complained, I just take in what they have to offer me, which is nothingbut burden. That is how Malaysians are, and always will be. Never a giver, just a receiver. I learn to live with that. At least the area that I’m in is like that. At least when I feel negative about them, when I give it a reality check, Malaysia is like that.. But really, all they wanted was to be noticed, to be loved and cared for, to be remembered. But what’s the point of it all if they don’t work hard to achieve that?
Anyways, 12th January 2009 will be my finals on my 2nd level of Automotive skill learning. Kinda choked up about it, but then again, I have a week of training, let’s just wait and see how it’ll go. My new year’s revolution is…. To confess. Yep.I’m going to have a career in the automotive industry, and I won’t give that up.there will be ups and downs. And a lot more sacrafices to be made.
The reason why my new year’s resolution is like that is because I am a runner. I’m not a speaker , but a writer. I can’t seem to find the words to say to people, so I write, I type. It’s for myself too. My sanity I guess. I’m an idiot . I confess. I left so many ppl I love with unspoken words. I didn’t leave assurance to them, I should have , I’m so stupid. Why do I always hurt the ones that I love? The answer isn’t because of life, it’s because of me. Sorry makes no difference. I want to be a better person, I don’t want to runaway anymore.
In order for People to be happy, I have to sacrifice my own. All I ever wanted was for people to be happy, it’s hard when it’s your own people. At least it’s hard for me anyways . heh. I’m tired , I’m gonna hit the hay now…
"I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed "
by Dave Feinberg
- That's how it is. I can't have the saddest of days, and i can't have the happiest of them. As everyday is filled with tears , everytime the rain comes, i feel like crying. you don't know what water can really do to your eyes. it makes them soggy and all red , and when people see you, that's when they start to care. Did you know that a smile can fool millions of people, just as much as a little white lie can fool thousands of people.
i am misunderstood. I am rejected. I am who i am, I dont belong here. My own country doesnt even accepts me.even if the whole world was against me, i never expected my own country was one of them . why is it that other countries can accept me, but my own doesnt? i'm sorry, i'm a loser
We cant always look back at the past , and hope for answersin it, we have to keep looking forward, even though it will weigh us in. ?I think.
I miss snow, will I see snow again? I miss the snowballfights, the fights , and the snowballs.I want to make snowmans and snowwoman, and snow angels . I never gottired of snow, for 3 years I lived there, and I never got tired of it, gotreally cold from it, but never tired. I miss spending Christmas there too,. Imissing you guys like crazy , and I don know wat to do anymore.
I off to University in 2,3 weeks and I not sure whatshould I do before that .i lost in thought
To amira, I'm sorry i didnt come to your house today, my dad just left for work and my mom didnt want to send me to Putrajaya,... i was really looking forward for today too >.<, but THIS happened... i'm sorry....
Thank goodness, I found my cat^_^, heheheh, he had me worried, I thought I
lost him , he was just hiding under the car :P, my neighbor. Its not even my
cat, but still, I had some quality times with it ^_^, it followed me around
wherever I traveled ^_^.
